Mar 10
18
Be an effective coach
A number of people are choosing to become life coaches or business coaches either as an alternative to the mundane corporate world or to provide them with a more focused career path. However, not all of them are being successful coaches; not that they’re suddenly deciding to change their mind about becoming a coach. It’s more a case of their clients deciding against using their services and choosing to opt for alternative methods to improve their chances of achieving their goals.
The goal setting process is fundamental to the success of coaching whether in your personal or business life. Get this wrong and you may just as well as not bothered setting any goals in the first place. One of the more popular models for coaching is the GROW model. I’ve discussed this model on a number of occasions on this blog so I’ve no intention of going over old ground here. If you want to read about the GROW model please go here to read, “Goal setting tools“.
So why do people fail to achieve their goals? Have they made good use of the GROW model?
You may well have tried to make changes in your life before without actually going through any goal setting process, such as new year resolutions or those many attempts to lose weight through dieting. Do you remember those situations? Did you ever analyse why they had gone wrong or not worked?
There are probably many reasons why you haven’t been successful with your previous attempts to set and successfully accomplish your goals. The following are just a few:
Was the goal yours or your clients?
This happens so many times in the workplace where the organisation promises the earth and produces less. They hire the services of a coach to work with the team with the intention of, for instance, raising output. Goals, targets and outcomes become those of the organisation; “I’m paying so they will achieve this,” attitude prevails. The attitude of, “this is good for you” just doesn’t work and will only succeed in demotivating staff.
In the case of personal coaching, the same problem can easily arise if the coach fails to realise the needs of the client and tries to lead them towards a goal that isn’t really theirs. This is where a coach’s skills with the application of the GROW model is important. In this situation the coach’s lack of skills is reflected in them having too much influence on their client’s answers.
If the coaching process hasn’t been fully explained to the organisation in the case of business coaching or the client in the case of personal coaching, then the chances of the process failing the clients is increased.
When people come to coaching for personal development they are generally wanting to make changes in their life and so enter into the process with some enthusiasm. This can very easily be paralysed, if their expectations are not met, such as having to work towards the goal of another person. It is important to raise the client’s awareness and responsibilities during the process; giving them ownership of the eventual outcomes and any benefits that prevail.
Getting people to commit to the coaching process is paramount in ensuring it’s success. When they feel pressurised into accepting something they are unsure if they begin to pay lip service to it which leads to resentment and complete disregard to it.
Poor time-management
Whilst the GROW model doesn’t include an element for time, the coach has some responsibility for ensuring the client has considered the time factor. How realistic is the goal? By including other acronyms such as SMART where the ‘T’ stands for time bound, the process considers the time factors.
It’s all very well to have a wild guess at the time and either under or over estimating the time; this could decide whether or not the goal is to be achieved or not. When people are enthused about working towards their dream goal it is quite common place for them to be over optimistic, this could also be compounded if the goal has been set by a manager with an even more optimistic view.
Lack of willingness to work at it
How willing is your client prepared to work at their goal? Are they just paying lip service to the process? In the case of business coaching where group coaching might be taking place there may be a case of forced attendance; resulting in the a disenchanted group of clients.
Also it is sometime difficult to establish a change ethic with a group who have well established working practices. Resistance to change is a great blockage in many coaching situations. You often hear the statement, “this is a lot harder than I thought it would be. It sounded so simple when we were starting out!”
It is important to realise that real change in working situations or lifestyles begins with a willingness to apply new practices and work at these changes. Be careful about making statements that over simplify the process. “This is easy”, “you’ll have no problems with this” or “this will only take you a few minutes”
Short term commitment
A short term commitment is essential; watch out for early excuses focused on other company priorities or in the case of personal coaching. Failing before they’ve started is common practice when your client isn’t buying into the process from the beginning. Also ensure your clients have identified all other commitments that may create an early exit excuse from the process.
You may hear excuses that claim they have no knowledge about what might happen when such a thing occurs; therefore I can’t say what will happen. Investigate this with more questioning.
They may of course be genuine as yet unidentified reasons why there are interruptions to achievement of their goal, for instances the sudden loss of a loved one or a traumatic event. This can still be investigated with appropriate questioning. Encourage your clients to expect the unexpected and adopt a more challenging approach
Lack of passion
How much real passion have your clients got? Do they really want to achieve the goal or are they following a guilt trip to satisfy a limiting belief? How are they going to cope with failures along the way? Encourage your clients to adopt an “investment in themselves” attitude; a willingness to follow a self development or personal development programme.
Whether it’s a company or personal investment the long term effects will be seen either on the bottom line or the monthly salary; in addition to raised levels of motivation.
Long term commitment
The short term commitment has already been mention, however there is also a longer term commitment to consider. Any changes to working practices or lifestyle of the long term; it’s not a case of playing the game for the time of the process and then locking the new learning away in the top drawer.
Once a goals has been achieved and changes are there for the duration. Once your client has put the effort in to accomplish their goal there seems little or no point is relinquishing control back to other people or returning the old habits.
Summary
Coaches can either be remembered by their clients for being the change in their life or for some other reason. Make sure you’re remembered for the right reasons. Help your client get into shape and be the catalyst to the change.
Thank you for reading this post, please let me know what you think and share your experiences. While you’re here please take the time to sign up for the newsletter or alternatively you may prefer to subscribe for regular updates in your favourite reader or by email.
photo credit: garryknight
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View Comments "Be an effective coach"
“Was the goal yours or your clients?” What a great question to ask yourself. Some times I can see my clients potential so much clearer than they can. I want to see them break through so badly, but they don't see it yet. Until they do, you have to ask that question. Thanks again for some great thoughts.
Very good post-
You make some very good points, the most important which is making sure that the coach is advocating a certain goal or goals that is not the goal of the client. From my 10 years experience in providing coaching/mentoring in personal development, it's easy to get moving down the track when the client has not even boarded the train.
This is why is it aboluetely for all to listen and understand from the client's point of view what there goals are. If the client feels you are not on the same page-you're fired end of story. You've got to develop the listening and comprehension skills. Sometimes it's not a match. I've had a few clients where it was not working and we both decided to part ways.
You've got to work within the framework of the client's overall goals and objectives for their life-and within their paramaters and level of motivation to carry out their action plan.
Having them expect the unexepted
Putting ownership back on them and
was it your goal or theirs… all stick out to me Paul. Great article and wonderful reminders for both sides actually..
Lee
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This post was mentioned on Twitter by IdeatoEmpire: Be an effective coach http://bit.ly/9VtHmH...
Great post Paul – thank you.
Was a really helpful read for me as I'm shortly going to begin my journey as a life coach
I don't envy anyone in the corporate coaching business. Corporations are so prone to idea of the week thinking and managers just want to look good to their higher ups. I am so glad to finally be on my own. There is where I see the real value of coaching because it is so hard to be honest with yourself.
I like what you said about how certain life coaches tend to help their client in achieving a goal that is not really his. I agree that when we're trying to help someone, whether or not we are life coaches, we should look at what the person wants to do instead of focusing on what we want him to do.
These are wonderful bits of goal setting that will definitely assist me in the future. Amazing article. I have one good online application that will help me to do my daily exercises. You can also check out this app called Pocket Coach. It will also to help individuals identify, set and achieve each individuals goals. http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/pocket-coach/id3...
Julius,
Thank you for calling in to add your comments.
I'm pleased to read that you can benefit from the post; the questions are some I learnt during my training. I also found them very powerful; and still do, at the time.
Regards
Paul
Wayne,
Thank you for calling in to add your comment.
You've said some very important things and identified how brave decisions have to be taken within a coaching relationship. Such as the parting of ways if the relationship isn't working.
I like the cliche about the client not being onboard the train; I'll have to remember that.
Regards
Paul
Lee,
Great to see you here, thanks for calling in.
I'm pleased to hear you've enjoyed the post; yes, the coaching sessions belong to the client not the coach. An important thing to remember.
Regards
Paul
Ben,
Thanks for adding to the conversation, it's great to see you here.
I'm pleased to hear you found it helpful. Good luck with your Coach training journey; I'm sure it will be enjoyable, exciting and worthwhile.
Regards
Paul
Richard,
Thank you for your comment.
It's such an important thing to remember that the changes taking place as a result of coaching need to be continued after the sessions has finished. I think this is where the coach needs to be alert, to ensuring there is a full commitment from the client; checking to make sure it's not just lip service they are paying. As you say it would be a waste of time and investment.
Regards
Paul
Ralph,
Thanks for adding your comment.
Being on your own is such an uplifting feeling; like a huge weight being lifted off your shoulders.
You're right honesty, whether in a coaching environment or not, is such a difficult concept. A good coach can help the honest come out!
Regards
Paul
Julius,
Thank you for your comment.
That's such an important point, thank you for bringing it up. It's such an easy way out, to give somebody a nice pretty trendy looking goal rather than one that's important to their life. When they achieve this 'donated goal' they feel pleased because it's probably one that many other people have achieved.
Regards
Paul
Shaun,
Thanks for calling in to add to the conversation, it's great to see you here.
I'll certainly check out the link you've left, thank you.
Regards
Paul
Shaun,
Thanks for calling in to add to the conversation, it's great to see you here.
I'll certainly check out the link you've left, thank you.
Regards
Paul
I like the point you have raised here…. “Make sure you’re remembered for the right reasons. Help your client get into shape and be the catalyst to the change” . This takes me back to my own therapy which I had to undergo as part of my training…. and I must truly say that my therapist did make an impact ….
Fatima,
Thank you for calling in to comment.
You're so right a good therapist can help achieve wonderful things; and as a professional who supports people being remember for the right reasons is equally important.
Regards
Paul
Thanks for this great post Paul.
Thank you for your comment, it's great to see you here.
Regards
Paul
I would have loved to have a coach in the earlier days
I couldn't find anyone, and that's why invented an alter ego – the other part of Mars Dorian.
Seriously, whenever I'm about to make a vital decision, I consult my second me.
It's probably just talking to your subconsciousness, but it helps out a lot !
Mars,
Thank for your comment.
I think many of us, me included, often think if only . . . Hindsight is a wonderful thing. I often wonder where alter egos come from! Maybe your strategy is the one to use; it sounds okay to me
Regards
Paul