Having to create a good first impression is a challenge we are faced with when we are asked to achieve something extra or include something new in our lives. What does creating a first impression mean? What is required? I know in its simplest form creating a good first impression is fairly straight forward but what are the underlying psychologies that are involved. Who are we trying to impress and for what reason?
What opportunities are facing you at the moment? We know that when life is going smoothly and we’re full of confidence and self esteem, none of us mind one bit trying a new opportunity that is lying there in front of us. On the other side of the coin, however, when things are slugging along and we feel that the world isn’t on our side, that old negative self talk creeps up onto our shoulder and we just can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel!
There are many phrases or cliches you’ve probably heard about rest and recuperation or other similar restful activities that people feel as though you should adhere to. All too often you will be presented with the advice of another, about how much you need a rest, or you should take a holiday or even it’s time for you to have a change. Whether you like to hear this or not, I’m inclined to agree with this freely available and zero cost advice. It’s probably some of the best advice you’ll receive unless of course you prefer to continue headlong in to burn-out.
Have you ever been surprised or taken aback when something you wanted to happen and thought has little chance of happening actually happened. Somethings happen in life for what seems like unaccountable reasons; there seems no obvious or logical reason, they just happen. The things I’m referring to are those that happen to benefit you. Just when you wanted a phone call from a friend they call you with an item of good news, something you’d been waiting to hear and didn’t in the least expect it.
I really like to work, it has been said that I am a bit of a workaholic, however is this a bad thing I ask myself? When I first left school and moved onto college I was so excited about going out into the world of work and doing something that I considered to be great. I wanted to be a teacher and so took the journey through college and into teacher training at Birmingham university in the UK. I loved the classroom and teaching right from my very first teaching practice. The children I taught were four to five year old and the day sped through as if I had only been there for an hour or so. When I got home my dad asked me if it had been a good day, I replied that I loved it and couldn’t wait to return the tomorrow.
There is an abundance of gurus, blogs and other resources available, not only on the Internet, but off-line too, where you can easily become knowledgeable about how to achieve success. Many of these personal development tools include coaches, goal setting, personality profiling to name but a few. They do however tend to constrain you within a fixed, whilst not rigid, model; it can limit your thinking if you’re not too careful. An relaxed mind and willingness to think ‘out of the box’ is still required to maintain your creativity and openness to change and new ideas.
There is much talk about achieving success and how we should or can achieve it for the plethora of gurus and experts, however one question that doesn’t appear too often is, “how does that success feel”? It is very important to have an idea of what the success will feel like when we set off; this will not only let us know what to expect but also provide us with an excellent motivator.
Hard work to the extent of overworking yourself and not taking time out for rest and recuperation is a common fault with many people. This happens for a variety of reasons; some of which are guilt, pressure from managers or peers, or simply a wish to work hard and get the job done; this could be attributed to trying to create an impression. Do any of these reasons ring true with you? They certainly do with me!
How wonderful does it feel when you achieve the results you want time after time; a consistency in your performance, whether it’s at work or in your home life, the feeling of satisfaction remains just as strong. Knowing full well that every time time you complete a task, finish a project, produce an output the end result is of a similar standard to your previous outcome and the one prior to that and prior to that etc. How good does it really feel to sit or stand ever so proud with that smug feeling of satisfaction. Wait a minute this is the real world we live in; the picture I’ve just painted surely is only one that exists in our dreams.
One of the most destructive effects of procrastination is the fact that it makes you feel out of control. Procrastination is like an ‘invisible force’ that keeps you from doing the very things you know you must do. With the increasing demands on our time and attention, there seems to be an increase in procrastination as a chronic problem, especially amongst those people that want to succeed the most. Procrastination usually sets in when you feel overwhelmed by all the ‘have to do’ situations in life and instead of making steady progress you take on too much without ever getting anything done.
All this talk about setting goals, achieving outcomes, planning this and planning that leads me to ask the question; “how do you celebrate your success?” Celebrations or celebrating your successes and achievements are just as important as all the hard work you put into the planning and completing the task. After all you only need to look around you to see how others celebrate their successes; on the sports field, in particular football, or howabout the celebrations that take place in the film or tv industries.
How often have you thought to yourself, “I could do that so much better!” but you just sit back and let every one think you’re the quiet one in the corner who just accepts what is happening. There have been so many times when I have watched as people have done a job that I know I was capable of doing, but I was just too shy to put myself forward and have a go. Well now it is time to stand up for you and be the person you can be!
You may well have heard the phrase, “choose the best person for the job”; and what’s more I think it’s fairly obvious why that would have to happen. However, in many cases we fail to take this very common piece of advise seriously and continue to select people who fail to live up to expectations. You’ll probably be able to give me many situations in your life where the best person hasn’t been chosen for the job; likewise I can provide you with similar occasions.
At times we find ourselves being advised to become more proactive, however, nobody ever tells us how to do it. Each day we have the choice to take charge and take our path, or let others in life control us. When we are proactive and become fully aware and take responsibility for our choices, we can really start to learn. So how can we do this?
Strength and weaknesses are something, at sometime in our lives that we have to deal in terms of ‘selling’ either ourselves or our company. It’s certainly not a task that some people enjoy, given that it means highlighting some of our more favourable features. We may well very easily identify our weaknesses, given our affinity to discredit ourselves in the presence of others. Why is we love to ‘pull ourselves down’ as opposed to ‘raising ourselves up’ to the heights we deserve.
It is what we do and how we achieve that peak performance that is the challenge we all face. Whether you are a professional sports person at the top of their game or merely a casual performer with your friends in your locality; maybe your performance needs to be achieved at work, where your boss is forever chasing you up for improved performance.
What game are you playing? Whether your game is on a sports field or in the context of the workplace; consideration needs to be given to the rules of team play. Individuals may well be able to perform to a high standard and produce the required output, however when it comes to the team game the demands on them are somewhat different.
“We’re going on a bear hunt”, is the title of a children’s’ story book; one which I have read and re-read on numerous occasions to my two 4 year old twin granddaughters. However, it’s only recently that we’ve actually reached the end of the book, consequently I’ve only just been able to appreciate the moral of the story.
Life is never easy but there again who ever said it would be; there just seems to be an illusion that at some stage if we do things in a certain way life will become ‘good’ or easy. It’s just not going to happen, that is of course unless you decide it’s going to come good or get ‘better’; what ever good or better means.
I remember on many occasions during my woodwork lessons at school, yes many years ago, my teacher would be forever reminding me to sand wood in the direction of and with the grain of the wood. This lesson was further reinforced by my own father, who was also a woodwork teacher at another school.
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