Feb 10
18
How fussy are you about things in life?
Today I’m pleased to have a post written by Ben Lumley from 6Aliens. Ben writes regularly on the subject of personal development, self development and personal growth. Please read on and add your comments below.
Do you know someone who thinks that any opportunity is generally never good enough for them? Are you constantly saying to yourself “I’m not doing that!” when confronted with a potential opportunity that could open up some doors for you?
There are always things in life that we don’t like or we don’t want to do but by only sticking to what we like, then we’ll never experience new challenges in life that will help us grow and develop.
To help better demonstrate the idea of being overly fussy with opportunities that we get in life I want to tell two stories.
There’s no way I’m going there!
I used to run a project for disaffected teens in a school near to where I live. The group of students I worked with were an interesting bunch but all we had in common was the fact that they had become so disillusioned with school and learning that they caused more problems than they solved.
One student loved to dance. She literally would eat, sleep and live dance. In an effort to get her some work experience I arrange for her to go to one of the best dance schools locally so she could help teach some classes.
I set it all up, the dance teacher was really excited and eager for her to come but when I told her all about it the response was….”There’s no way I’m going there!”
Why? Because it would mean a 30 minute walk after school to get there to teach for a few hours. I was stunned! Here was someone that desperately wanted to be a dance teacher but was too fussy to walk 30 minutes in order to do it.
What a Cracking voice
As she stepped on the stage in front of around 1,000 people and those were important people, every single person staring back at her were all thinking the same thing; “Erm no way what a joke!” They didn’t allow themselves to experience what she had to offer, they judged her by her cover and didn’t give it a second thought. Then she open her mouth.
If you don’t know the Susan Boyle story then go and YouTube “Susan Boyle” and you’ll understand in a heartbeat. Every body watching her
audition on a UK talent show thought the same thing instantly, “This woman looks a state – she can’t be any good.” Then she sung and completely blew everyone away. Everyone there, including the judges all had a fussy attitude to how they wanted a singer to be, what they should look like and what image they should fit – that was all changed after the first note.
Where do you draw the line?
We all have opportunities in life that we instantly shy away from. We see the potential benefits but we still find things to stumble over. We don’t want to move for that amazing job because that just seems like a hassle. We don’t want to go out for that blind date just on the off chance that they might turn out to be an axe-wielding murderer. We don’t want to take that leap of faith just in case the jump is too far.
How many times have you turned away from opportunities that could have led to something amazing? How often do you turn your nose up at things in life because you think they are below you? How fussy are you about the chances life throws your way?
I’m Ben Lumley, a blogger from the UK who writes about self development at 6aliens.com. Why not connect with me on Twitter @6aliens or if you liked this article then why not subscribe to my RSS Feed?
photo credit: acornchief
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View Comments "How fussy are you about things in life?"
Ben,
Welcome to Diary4Life and thank you for your guest post.
You've used two great, yet different examples of how our being fussy can affect our judgments. Whilst we make judgments everyday; some are necessary others not so much, carelessly chosen judgments can prove to be somewhat detrimental.
The Susan Boyle case certainly left Simon Cowell and company looking somewhat red faced.
Thank you for sharing.
Regards
Paul
Thanks for letting me post for you Paul – really looking forward to yours post on my site soon.
You're right that “carelessy chosen judgements can be detrimental”
This is an interesting post Ben. Fussiness can close down opportunities, sometimes things may not look the way we want them to but being open makes all the difference.
Great post Ben. Thanks for sharing those two stories. It made me realize that we can be fussy, or even unappreciative of what we have. Like that dancer, she should of walked 30 minutes to do what she loved doing. In high school, I loved to play basketball. and there were times that after school, while everyone was driving to the park (I didn't have a car and 2 miles away from the school), I would literally run from the school, pass the busy streets and the restaurants, on the sidewalk, through the neighborhoods, and get to the basketball court in the park panting just to get a chance to play. People would ask me if I was exhausted, and I responded with, “Not really.”
As always great post, Ben. My takeaway is that Susan was willing to “walk the 30 minutes”. I think that points to a bigger issue for the person you referenced in the first example – she wasn't willing, a bigger problem going on there.
Fussy?
nah. life is short.
No time to complain.
Ben,
It's great to have you write here. Thanks again.
Regards
Paul
Jen,
Thanks for stopping by to comment.
You're right sometimes we could do to be more patient with what we are receiving. It doesn't always resemble the end result.
Besides the end result isn't the only achievement, the journey is as much a part of our learning and accomplishments.
Regards
Paul
Hulbert,
Thanks for dropping in to add your comment.
Ben's two stories are great examples of how fussiness affects our lives. So many people aren't prepared to go the extra mile (no pun intended) to do something extra and many times it's what they loving doing. Perhaps they're afraid they'll miss something else.
Regards
Paul
Marc,
Thanks for stopping by to comment.
You're right there are two differing issues between the examples Ben has used, however my view on it is the perception of the judges with Susan and what they expected a singing star to look like.
Regards
Paul
aDeeb,
Thank you for your comment. A great simple and easy philosophy, I love it.
Regards
Paul
Definitely! Far too short
Hey Marc – I think willingness comes from a lack of fussiness in life. I agree with you as well that there is a big problem with a lack of willingness in people
Hey Hulbert – how you doing buddy?
Running 2 miles to get to the court is a great example of what I was talking about. You've got to be will to go the extra mile to make that difference in your life – I think people get to comfortable with things which is why they're too fussy.
Hey Jen my lovely! How are you?
Completely agree – open mindedness make a lot of difference to the way we view opportunities and fussiness completely alters that
I would like to think I don't walk away from opportunities but I want to do videos for my blog and keep procrastinating. I need to kick it in!
Tess,
Thanks for adding your comment to Ben's post; it's good to see you here.
Perhaps it's not a case of walking away, maybe more of not yet ready or the time's not right!
Regards
Paul
Yeah think I agree with Paul here Tess
1) Great to have you here
2) Maybe the timing hasn't been right yet. I know I've been looking in to video posts as well I've just not got to a stage where I'm ready to do this.
hi ben,
loved this.
would you say in this context people are fussy because they are lazy, not motivated, are simply satisfied with where they or have adapted to the no risk factor kind of lifestyle?
I would definitely go the long haul if presented with several opportunities that fall in line with my field, passion and pathway. What am i doing? What am i waiting for? I cant think of any reason lol!!
i think susan boyles determination and passion made her ignore the comments and stares from people because when you watch it closely, she totally ignored the jeers.
anyway, do have a lovely weekend.
Hey Ayo – Glad you liked it.
I would say fussiness is a combination of all the points you have listed.
Yeah the Susan Boyle story is a great one isn't it?
Another great article, Ben. I really enjoyed reading this one and you brought back memories of things in my life that I really thought that I wanted, but when presented with the opportunity, talked myself out of them. Perhaps it wasn't really the 30 minute walk that that dancer was scared of, it was the thought that the reality of teaching dancing wouldn't live up to her dream, or her fear that she wouldn't be good enough.
Very insightful post.
Karen
Hey Karen
Yeah I always thought that about the dancer too. I think she used the walking as an excuse at times but I eventually came to the conclusion that she was too fussy when I found her a school that was a 30 minute bus ride away that she happily went to.
I think you're right though – fussiness is often the disguise we use to cover up our other fears
Lovely article, Ben! I think Susan Boyle is a complete star and so admire her for having taken her opportunity last year.
I had to laugh, however, at the general theme of your post as I can be so like this myself sometimes. It particularly applies to self-development trainings of one kind or another that I've signed myself up for thinking they'd be “a good idea”. As the date comes around, however, I can question my attendance, and think “why am I bothering?” I rarely don't turn up, so I at least do my equivalent of walking 30 minutes if resentfully. But the joke is that it's often when I'm feeling like this, that I get the biggest self-insights and make the biggest personal leaps forward by attending!
Thank you, and to you too Paul for hosting!
Christine, Thank you for your comment and for sharing your 'walking 30 minutes' experience. I think many of us could nominate our own 'walking 30 minute' experience and found out that we've really benefited from it.
Regards
Paul
Hey Christine
Yeah I know exactly what you mean – those things we dread the most in life are usually the things we end up getting the most out of. Funny how that happens isn't it?
Good points Ben, I'm not sure I've done this with business… yet… but relationships I have in the past, and it did come to bite me back in the butt. Going with the flow and taking the best opportunities related to our passions seems to be the best, without being too pick of course!
Ryan,
Thanks for dropping in to comment on Ben's post. I think it can be a case of confidence, however when you've tried it once or twice and you've been bitten where you don't want biting, it becomes a case of “once bitten twice shy”. Then you are in need of a confidence building exercise!
Regards
Paul
Thanks for the comment Ryan.
I think we can apply “non-fussiness” to any area in life. Once we have done it in a few time we can use those experiences to help us in the future.