Mar 10
20
In the face of adversity
At sometime in our lives, we probably have or will in the future be faced with an adversity. When it happens it’s not a surprise to hear yourself ask, why me? Our adversity will seem like the worst thing in the world and far worse than we could have ever imagined; however what ever it is we always seem to pull through. A sure sign of what we are capable of. We find a solution to whatever the adversity was and many times on reflection we wonder why we ever worried or became concerned. There are also times we would wish it would all go away; or maybe you’ve become a changed person, learnt new skills.
Personally when I see some of the adversities some people have been faced with, I have nothing but admiration for them. How have they managed to cope with that? There again, I’ve not had to face what they have; I might have responded in a similar way!
It is certainly a test of character and a big learning curve; on the other side it does help our personal growth. Some people have had to turn their lives upside down and reassess how they’re going to live them. There is one particular situation I am going write about that absolutely staggered me, when I heard the full story; this is based on fact, however all names have been changed to protect the people concerned.
Background
George and Eileen had been married for 5 years, they already had one child, a boy called Simon who was now 4 years old. When Eileen found out she was expecting a second child they were both very thrilled that they were to have an addition to their young family. Eileen had previously suffered a miscarriage since the birth of Simon; who was now 4 years old and about to start primary school.
When Sarah was born she was found to be suffering from Sturge Weber Syndrome, an extremely rare condition. Sarah’s condition was to impact on their lives, like nothing they could have ever imagined. There was a need for a serious look at both their job roles and how they were to live their lives.
Eileen had been trained as an administrator, however after the birth of their son, she took the option to take up work as domestic support in schools; this allowed her more time with their son. At the time of Sarah’s birth, George had not long been released from prison for a minor offence; his usual employment was a construction site worker.
After Sarah’s birth Eileen was forced, by her own choice, to terminate her employment and take up full time care of her new born daughter. She was in need of care, 24/7. George continued his employment in the construction industry and to be the main bread winner for the family, in addition to supporting his wife when at home. They both realised that their daughter would not be with them for long; 2 years initially was the prognosis, so they devoted their time to ensuring she enjoyed her short experience on this earth plane.
This devotion to their disabled daughter, led to Simon being left in the care other family members such as his auntie, uncle and grandparents as George and Eileen had to spend so much time with dealing with Sarah’s care as she spent so much time in hospital and this was not a suitable environment for him.
George had to give up full time employment for the 2 remaining years of Sarah’s life as she needed 24/7 nursing care and he felt this was the best thing to do as she was to be with them for a short time only. They both feel very privileged to have enjoyed their daughter for 6 years; especially after they had been given 2 years. The care had to be shared as it was too much for one person. It’s at this time George came across the opportunity to work as a casual labourer, for a friend of the family. When you need friends they always turn up!
Simon has since stated that he has never felt he was pushed aside and that he understood the reasons why it had to happen. Coping with the loss of his sister was a different matter altogether and he feels that this was one of the reasons he turned to substance abuse. Also, Simon has now thank goodness recovered from the substance abuse with the family’s support and continuing to do so. Once again overcoming yet another adversity in their lives as a family.
How many adversities can people put up with before they say enough is enough? What is the deciding factor? I recently read a book by Victor Frankl called, “Man’s Search for Meaning”. The book follows his experiences in the Auswitch death camp during the Second World war; a very worthwhile book, if you enjoy reading about how people have overcome adversity.
Today
Anyway back to George and Eileen; after Sarah’s passing, not only had they suffered the loss of their young daughter but they now had a son, they loved dearly, who was spending his time with substance abuse.
However, they were determined not to allow things to get them down. Eileen realised she had developed a number of new skills by working closely with the NHS medical staff; she decide to put these new skills to good use and she retrained as an occupational therapist. A role she still continues with today.
What was it that enable George and Eileen to have the strength to come through this stage of their lives? Where does such strength come from? If this ability is within us, is it possible to call on it at other times in our lives? For instance, when we are chasing our everyday goals or when that new business we set up begins to hit a rocky spell; or if we’ve set a goal to move abroad and we’re struggling to get going! Wouldn’t it be great, if we could easily tap into this hidden drive, to help us achieve those long sought after goals. What are your thoughts on it?
Thank you for reading this post, please let me know what you think and share your experiences. While you’re here please take the time to sign up for the newsletter or alternatively you may prefer to subscribe for regular updates in your favourite reader or by email.
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View Comments "In the face of adversity"
Paul I loved the post here. I am impressed by what they did. Spending so much time caring about their daughter and even giving up their jobs. It's something too few people do these days.
Julius,
Thanks for adding your comment. Giving up their jobs was such an important part of their development, for the sake of the family as a whole not just their own.
Regards
Paul
Paul your site has some amazingly powerful stuff, I love it.
Thanks brother for sharing yet another inspiring piece
James,
Thanks for dropping in to add your complimentary comment. It's great to see you here.
Regards
Paul
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I believe that true love and understanding have helped that family a lot in overcoming the adversities in their lives.
I really like reading the inspiring stories you share here Paul. This reminds me of a story Zig Ziglar was telling at one of his conferences where he talked about how a spastic child managed to become a professional athlete because his family didn't give up on him. Things might be bad right now, but if you can live through it, you'll be much happier down the road. Your mind can make or break your life.
My best wishes go to George and Eileen. They'll live strong.
Ken,
Thanks very much for adding your comment and sharing the Zig Ziglar experience.
Whilst things can seem to become impossible, by concentrating on the moment, the here and now, ot can add a little clarity to the situation.
Regards
Paul
Julius,
Thank you for your comment.
You're right true love and a clear understanding of what is required are two of the key things to help us achieve success, as was the case here.
Regards
Paul
Hi Paul,
Like you, I ask myself how people can put up with all the turmoil and adversity that life throws at them? I think the answer is, that you have to do what you have to do. You have to live through the experiences and learn the lessons as there is no other alternative. It really makes you humble knowing that your daily problems are nothing compared to what other people go through on a daily basis. I am so fortunate in my life and although there have been many trials, each one makes me stronger. Also, Victor's book is a fantastic read for those who are facing adversities and don't see the light at the end of tunnel.
Thanks for the inspiring post. I hope the family comes through stronger than what they were before.
Karen
Karen,
Thank you for your comment.
You're right, I think it is a case of having to do what you have to do; no matter what. It certainly puts things into perspective when you see what others have to cope with.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
Regards
Paul
What I see in your story is that this couple had a mission (their children) and that they kept that goal in mind whatever else they experienced. Jobs were not a mission just a means and they did what they had to do. I don't think that this is typical. Or maybe it is just that some of us get confused when life gets messy and forget priorities.
Ralph,
Thank you for calling in to add your comment.
That's a great perspective; they kept their eye on the current job that required their attention. Your final sentence is certainly food for thought!
Regards
Paul
A lively post Paul
I find the strength people have to journey through life facing these kinds of struggles nothing short of inspiring.
If we all applied this stickwithitness and positive attitude to whatever we did in life, the world would be a very different place
Ben,
Thanks for calling in to add your comment.
It's one of those, if only questions but you're right it would be a very different place.
Regards
Paul